Barack Me

Dawn seems to be everyone's favorite cocktail waitress on my web site even though it's MY web site. But just to show that I'm not jealous I'll throw you guys a little more sugar.

Ready? OK!

Bet Katy Perry never kissed this girl.

In case you guys don't get the whole Katy Perry I-Kissed-a-Girl thing I keep referring to, she took a picture in front of this backdrop and performed in Rok Vegas on opening weekend. Anyway, so yes, we felt and looked completely retarded taking these pictures.

You know how it is when you want someone to take a picture with your camera so you have to explain to them how to use it? And you say, "You just push this button," and they say, "This one here?" and you're like, "Yeah, this one," and they go, "This one?" and you're like, "No, this one," and they're like, "Oh, you mean, this one?" and you're like, "Yes!" and they go, "OK." And you get in position, and you say, "Ready?" and they say, "Yeah," and you pose. And then as you stand there, puckering up, frozen like idiots, the person taking the picture clicks, then says, "Oh, wait, I did something wrong." That happened a few times. Plus I kept laughing, and Dawn actually said to me, "All right, settle down, goofy." And Kara, the one taking the pictures and who is also a cocktail waitress, made me let her take a round in my pit for wasting her time when she was the one who kept screwing up taking pictures. I mean, it's a freaking iPhone. My 3-year-old knows how to use it.

My friend, Brendan, was here from Ireland so we decided to visit Rok Vegas since I hadn't been there yet. I got on the VIP list (woo-hoo!) and we were there for all of three minutes before we decided to head upstairs to Pour 24 where there are like 3000 beers on tap. I don't drink beer, but for beer connoisseurs I'm told it's really a great bar, and you get free samples too. Anyway, after Brendan had a couple ten Sin Cities we had an interesting conversation on whether the phrase "Barack me!" would be fightin' words or invitin' words, depending on whether they were said to a Democrat or Republican and if one or both parties were naked (duh!), and if nipple rings are involved (again, duh!).

Just some of NYNY's finest eye candies at around 2 am. The one in the middle is pregnant. I had to sneak this picture because I was afraid she'd come over and sic her fetus on me. She had just loaded up on cherries and olives from the bar's fruit tray and they were headed over to MGM since their only potential clientele here were a smelly homeless guy who kept asking, "Who's your baby's daddy?" and a drunk Irishman yelling, "Barack me!"

I Kissed a Girl and She Liked It

The construction at NYNY is almost complete (yay!). The only thing left is the center bar, which will be located in the, yes, center of the casino. Keeping in mind that I've been working very sporadically, that I don't really pay attention, my information is outdated and relayed from questionable sources, and deadlines are sometimes quixotic ambitions...the last I heard, everything is supposed to be done by September 27. For everyone who has the correct updated info, I refer you to my disclaimer.

Anyway, the new high limit room is done and it is be-ew-tee-ful! Now we're talking. For those of you who have been here before, it is where the Big Apple Bar used to be.

Let's take a tour!

I was trying to get a picture of the entrance of the high limit room but all these people were crowded around it, staring down at some guy because he dropped dead when the dice at the craps table hit him in the temple.

Just kidding.

Seriously, though, the craps games are right in front of the high limit room entrance so that's why all these people are in the way.

Aww...look, as you enter and peer to your right, it's our fine lonely pit employees, looking dapper and high-limit-ey. Mike is in the black suit and Dolph is in the gray. They are professional, friendly, and knowledgeable at all times. Even off the clock. I just love these guys.

To the left is the bar with table-top video poker machines. There are no "guns," which means all the liquors will be poured from bottles, as they should be.

Here's a shot from farther away. Why? I don't know. So you can see the lovely tile decor and that yes, there are barstools. There are also some widescreen monitors on the wall. Unfortunately, the lovely cocktail waitress does not come with the bar as she is overqualified for the position.

What a nice little lounge this is. It's located to the immediate left of the entrance, and right next to the bar. So when the high rollers bring their non-gambling buddies they can just sit and get hammered. Something for everyone.

This is the chandelier hanging above that lounge, and I swear it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Have you ever played that game Nuclear War? Usually you play it with a friend, someone as immature as yourself, when you're somewhere, say, an elevator, a bar, a church, a funeral...and you pretend there's a nuclear war, and the only survivors are the people in the room. You have to fuck someone to save a loved one's life. Masturbation and suicide and your companions are not options, who would you choose?

I would choose that chandelier. Yeah, definitely. I would fuck that chandelier.

This is the 69 room. I don't know what all these slot machines are doing here.

After visiting the 69 room you can towel off and gargle.

Hopefully self-explanatory.

For real, is this the coolest faucet you have ever seen? It's literally a waterfall! I am blown away by this! I know it's completely aesthetic and adds nothing whatsoever to its intended purpose but I have been holding a torch for this faucet for years. It's a sad and pathetic tale.

Years ago, when I lived in Los Angeles, I was a lowly non-union extra in TV, movies, and commercials making $40/day. It wasn't my dream to be an actress or anything, I was really just lazy and it was easy money. So I was in a few scenes of a movie called Mistress, which was shot at a house in the Hollywood hills, and the bathroom had that exact same faucet, except it was black. The toilet was black too. I'll never forget that because I was thinking, oh my god, this is how rich people live.

I know. It doesn't take much. And yeah. That faucet stayed on my mind for almost twenty years. And now I can just go in that high limit bathroom and turn the faucet on and off, on and off. Don't think I won't.

OK, so is anyone ready to rock...ROK Vegas that is? I know, that was lame. What do you want from me. Get your own web site.

Cocktaildoll's #1 fan secures her place in line. That's right, check your camera, babe, because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

That's my Susi. I may or may not have kissed a muchacha but she definitely liked it. I mean, would have liked it.

I'm planning on being at ROK on Wednesday, September 3, around 10pm, if I don't get called in to work. I'll try to take more pictures, maybe of the inside since I haven't been yet. If anyone wants to say hi please do, and we can also take some pictures together for my web site!