Aww...isn't this a cute picture of my friend, Melissa, at our new Center Bar? But OK, here's the deal. See that woman at the bar? She's a hooker and she had the biggest, hangiest boobs, and she wasn't wearing a bra, so I had to take a picture of her for you guys. But I couldn't just say, "Hey, show me your hangy boobs," so I had to pretend I was taking a picture of Melissa. But she had her head turned away for so long that I finally thought that if I took a picture the flash might get her attention...
It did, so I pretended I was taking another picture of Melissa, so the hooker leaned away to try to get out of the shot but I was way too sneaky! But so was she, because she wouldn't move her damn hand off the bar, so you couldn't get a clear view of her tits. I mean, they weren't saggy in the traditional sense. They just hung really low, like down by her waist, but her nipples didn't point down or anything. And because she wasn't wearing a bra you could see areola and everything. I wanted to take another picture but Melissa was doing one of those things when you mutter through your smile, "Hurry the fuck up, she's gonna know you're taking her picture - hurry up!" I'm told areola's a regular so next time she's here I'll try to get a good shot. I swear, her boobs are fucking huge, like bowling balls - at least 15 lbs.Take a good look, guys. This is the kind of Pretty Woman you too can whisk away in your sports car.
4 comments:
Oh, the horror!!!!
Outstanding, nothing like getting a friend to help get a completely uncomfortable picture. You had me laughing thinking about how that plan got put in place.
Would she go with me in my Toyota?
2 hung low...a great title.
So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager
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