Saturday, February 16, 2008


Over a year ago my friend Brenda was viciously murdered. The guy finally went to trial this month and was found guilty of second-degree murder. I guess the jury didn't think he premeditated the murder. Needless to say I disagree, and so do her other friends and family. Unless a death is accidental, how do you not premeditate it? Even if it's a crime of opportunity, or passion, or done spontaneously, you don't unknowlingly bash someone in the head over and over until they're dead.

Brenda's body has still not been found.


So, for some good news...back in July I finally bought the iPhone that I'd been drooling after. The bad news was, the price dropped $200 two months after I bought it. The good news (for Apple) was they "refunded" me $100, which was really just another devious scam by Steve Jobs since it had to be spent in an Apple store...and who's gonna spend just $100? So I bought another iPhone for Jerome at the New Low Price. Boy, that Steve Jobs...what a conniving prick...and I wish so much that he were my daddy.

Anyway, the bad news was...Jerome's iPhone was stolen a week ago. He had gone to Luxor around 2am to visit some friends because he used to work there as a bartender. He was at one of the bars showing the bartenders pictures of Joshua on his phone, then he set it down (why the hell would you set your IPHONE down on the bar on a crowded Saturday night??? Aargh!!!) and when he turned back around it was gone. He did the whole look-for-it thing - asked around, checked with security, etc. - to no avail. He tried calling his cell but no answer. Around 5am I called his cell and this time some guy answered. The conversation went like this:

Fucking iPhone Thief: "Hello?"
Pissed-Off Me: "Who is this?"
Fucking iPhone Thief: "Who is this?"
Pissed-Off Me: "Whose phone are you using?"
Fucking iPhone Thief: "I'm using my phone! My iPhone!"
(Idiot Jerome iPhone-Loser: "Great, now you pissed him off. Ask him where he is.")
Pissed-Off Me: "Where are you?"
Fucking iPhone Thief: "Albuquerque."
Fucking iPhone Thief's Accomplice: "Yeah, man, we're in Albuquerque!"
(Fucking iPhone Thief Low-Life Scumbag Cunt Motherfucker Shit-Sucker
Uncircumcised-Dick-Eater laughter.)
Click. They hung up on me.

A few seconds later my phone rang. I picked up the phone and clicked the receiver to answer, but I didn't say anything.

Fucking iPhone Thief: "Hello?"
Pissed-Off Me: Still silent.
Fucking iPhone Thief: "They're not saying anything. Ha, we got your iPhone, man!

A few seconds later my phone rang again. This time I let the machine pick it up, but they didn't leave a message.

So the next day, Monday, Jerome went to the Apple store to report his phone stolen and to buy a new iPhone. He asked if he could give them the serial number and have them block it so that if someone tries to activate the phone it would come up stolen, and could possibly be traced to that person. They said no. He took a deep breath. OK, cool, whatever. So he took out $500 and said he wanted to buy another iPhone. That's great, they said, except you can only buy an iPhone with a credit card. He said, "What?" They said that they only take credit cards on iPhones so they can keep track of how many are bought. He said, "Wait a minute. So you can track how many are bought by a credit card, but you can't trace a stolen iPhone?" They didn't really have a response to that. He said, "So what you're telling me is that Apple doesn't give a fuck about anyone but themselves?" After that delicately-put rhetorical question they asked him to leave.

Later that day he went back to the store with a credit card and bought an iPhone.

I did find a pretty cool web site where you can register your iPhone and make a custom wallpaper so that if you do lose your iPhone, and you're lucky enough that someone would want to return it to you, they can go on that web site and e-mail you. I also noticed something on my iPhone that I had overlooked before, and that is a setting where you can enter a passcode so that no one can use it (unless they figure out the passcode) if you do lose it.

So, the moral of the story is, don't lose your iPhone, if you do you're screwed, and if you decide to buy another one bring a credit card.

Trolling For Tips

Well, what can I say? It's been ten months since I last updated and a lot has happened but instead of trying to recap I'll just dive right into what's been going on recently.

NYNY has been undergoing massive reconstruction starting on January 7, 2008. They have decided to redo the entire casino, section by section. What this means for customers is that there will be dust and NOISE. What this means for cocktail waitresses is that there is less work available.

To give you the Cliffs Notes version, when a waitress' section is being revamped, she is technically out of work so she goes on top of the Extra Board until her section is finished. The Extra Board consists of girls who are always "on-call." Every week the Extra Board chooses their schedules for the following week from the full-time girls who have requested days off, vacations, floaters, etc. The girls at the very top of the Extra Board get to choose the best shifts, which are basically swing shift pits. Usually it's the goal of every Extra Board girl to land a shift and become a full-time employee. However, girls at the top of the Extra Board usually stay there forever because it's like being a full-time swing pit girl anyway. So, when a full-time girl loses her station and goes on top of the Extra Board, obviously everyone else moves further down, which means less desirable shifts and/or no shifts available. I was number 7, which isn't bad, but since the construction has started I've been anywhere from number 11 to 13. Which means I haven't been working much.

Color me poor and desperate!!!

However, I am turning down shifts like graveyard and The Bar at Times Square because I can't handle hearing anymore drunk white guys singing "You Shook Me All Night Long."

So if you do come visit me at work please don't be upset if I don't have time to chat. I really need to make as much money as I can when I'm there!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Hey, how YOU doin'?

I'm back!

Trying out a new look and all that, hope you like it, blah blah blah. Now you can leave comments - cool, huh? And it'll take me awhile to figure out how to edit them all to flatter me, so take advantage of it. It's great to be back!